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It can be just as challenging for a nonautistic person to cope with their neurodiverse partner’s expectations and demands, too. It can also be difficult for a partner or friends and family to understand their loved one’s focused interest. Autistic people often develop focused interests. They may turn to this interest as a way to cope with challenges or issues at home, work, or school. For their partner, they may consider this as avoidance behavior, and it can be difficult for them to navigate. Verbally expressing themselves may be difficult, too.
In defence of the self-DX “mild” Aspies…
Whether your partner’s unflattering remark is hurtful or helpful depends on how you choose to see it. Keep in mind that their blunt honesty also applies to positive feedback — and if this is the reaction you get, you can savor and enjoy it. If you ask your Aspie partner whether your outfit looks nice and you don’t get the response you’d hoped for, they haven’t intentionally been cruel.
About This Article
My mother just sent me this test because she was curious and believes I have AS. But I don’t think she has fully believed I have changed in any way. I am like you, Charles, have grown and matured, be it late. I was underperforming in my younger years, but now I am outperforming my peers and going beyond.
Dealing with Differences in Communication
People with autism may get easily attached to people, leading them to become over-friendly. It can be difficult to understand other people’s perceptions of situations, therefore what they feel is appropriate, may be considered as socially unacceptable. Hannah Bushell-Walsh’s husband was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome two years ago, after the couple had already been married several years. The happy couple now have two children together.
However, medications, speech therapy, and occupational therapy may also be used. It’s important to remember that not all treatments for Asperger’s are supported by scientific evidence. Someone with Asperger’s experiences problems with social skills. They can be just as smart as the person they’re standing next to, but it can be a challenge when meeting new people, or dealing with large groups of people. Often individuals with autism struggle to make friends because they’re fearful of being vulnerable, experiencing social anxiety, and struggle with the social skills necessary to make new friends.
Autistic people can also have sensory differences that interfere with socializing. Sound sensitivity and touch aversion are two examples. If you and your partner with Asperger’s have hit a speed bump, some strategies and insight into loving someone with Asperger’s may help improve your relationship.
So, let your relationship follow a predictable structure that allows your partner to dedicate enough energy to you. You could even create a calendar together and enter tasks and events related to dating into it. All this to say, there’s hope for people with AS.
Let them know how you feel
Yet it only takes some experience from a person with Asperger’s to get somewhat more comfortable with social encounters. You should help your partner with receiving this experience. While all of these social rules and ways of interaction seem native to us, people with Asperger’s perceive it as a piece of knowledge that should be learned. Asperger’s syndrome is a “hidden dysfunction,” which implies that it is impossible to determine if a person has Asperger’s syndrome or not.
Having both diagnosis running in the family , it dosent sound far fetched. I belive he is the most loving, concerning, supportive and sweetest man Ive met for many many years. I feel his honesty in everything he do or say. And, I have been living in an abusive relationship for 9y so I belive I can recognize differneces in behaviour.
Many therapists used to think that you had either AS or AD/HD, but that you could not have both. In the last couple of years it has been shown that in fact you can have both and even more, many Aspies actually DO have both. So before we start putting all the lies, cheating, etc…on being an Aspie, I suggest you do some research on AD/HD. I have a feeling that just as I did, you will find many of the negative traits you have expressed here are actually directly related to AD/HD.